Subconsciously, I will wonder why I am considering you when I could maybe be dating your hot friend Typically, when I go on, as my manager likes to call them – “the apps,” I swipe in every which direction because I want to be reassured that men I find attractive also find me attractive. That’s all I want. Then come the conversation starters: “Hi, Melissa! How are you today?”; “What music do you listen to?”; “Tell me about your family.”; “What’s your favorite color?” This is why I don’t date. I don’t like having the same conversations over and over again with different people. I hate small talk. I hate the basics. And then these guys want to meet in-person. I could potentially get a free dinner out of this, sure (an exercise my bestie, Cynthia, immorally suggests I abuse), but this means I have to throw on a bra and put on some make-up when I’d rather not do either of these things. I could meet you after work when I still have both these things on, but I’m drained after a long day, and I just don’t want to deal with the egregious chatter.