Why Won’t Your Bumble Match Meet You IRL? “Not here for a penpal” is one of the common denominators I should have added to my list of things that I’m sick of reading on peoples Tinder profiles. The uninitiated amongst us would be right to question why someone would be on a dating site if they’re not actually looking to, well, y’know…date. It’s a solid question and the reality is, even if someone is on there for a ONS (One Night Stand, obv) or a casual hook up, there’s still the probability that eventually you’re gonna have to “connect” and step away from the screen. That is unless you’re happy spending your Friday nights getting your rocks off with your phone. Alone. In your house. Now, I aren’t saying I’m not down for a little sext action, in the right circumstances it’s fantastic, but I much prefer the presence of an actual human being massaging my nether regions rather than telling me about how they’re gonna do it.