I felt the hostility fade away and a safe environment for honest, open communication enter our relationship I’m willing to do what needs to be done Now that’s hard for a person who has been betrayed to hear. And a lot of times they can’t even do that because they have to sit back and lick their wounds, so if someone is really in a state or trauma, unsure of whether they want to stay or go, or if they’re in the first few months of recovery, it may not make sense. The intent here is to move toward the unfaithful spouse lovingly and honestly and not in an attempt to change them, not to convince them to change their mind, but just out of a sense of strength to say, “I want our marriage. I’m willing to invest in this. There are things I need from you, and I invite you to the process.” And let them make that choice without feeling the pressure of it. I can tell you from experience that Linda eventually got to the point where she was able to approach me in this fashion and it worked. Now I realize that once an affair […]