A yet-to-be-published study by Denver University grad student Kayla Knapp looked at the relationships of 484 unmarried 18-35 year olds and found that people who had cheated on a partner in the past were 3
New research confirms everything your mom told you about “once a cheater. ” Many unfaithful partners tend to be repeat offenders. 5 times more likely to be unfaithful in a subsequent relationship. Yikes.
(The study didn’t account for consensually non-monogamous couples, like those in open relationships or who’d had a threesome with their partner, and also didn’t capture emotional infidelity or online affairs that kissbrides.com look what i found didn’t involve sexual interaction.)
Not only did 32 percent of people admit to being unfaithful, but-and here’s the kicker-out of those who reported cheating in the initial relationship, a whopping 45 percent went on to cheat again in a subsequent relationship. On the other hand, only 18 percent of people who hadn’t cheated in the first relationship were unfaithful later on.
Unfortunately, if you’re dating a guy who’s knocked boots out of bounds before, this study can’t reveal how to predict whether or not he’ll cheat on you, too. “We don’t know why people who have been sexually unfaithful in the past are more likely to cheat in the future. Do they value fidelity less? Is it a learned behavior?” says Knopp. “Without that information, it’s hard to say whether an individual might cheat again.” Still, simply knowing that he’s been dishonest in a prior relationship may be a red flag.
The longitudinal study followed participants over the course of five years, checking in with them every four to six months to ask questions about their love life, including whether they had engaged in sexual relations with someone other than their partner since they’d begun seriously dating
Another interesting finding in Knopp’s research suggests that people who’ve been betrayed in the past are more likely to date a philanderer again down the line-so if you fall into this category, be sure to keep your BS antenna up. Twenty-two percent of those who were in a relationship with someone disloyal reported that their subsequent significant other also cheated, compared to only nine percent of those whose initial partners had remained faithful. “Perhaps some people are very limited in their partner pool, based on social, economic, or geographic constraints, and don’t have the freedom to select more reliable partners,” ventures Knopp. “Or maybe they learn that sexual infidelity is acceptable or expected based on past experiences.”
What’s more, those who suspected that their partner was cheating without knowing for sure were 10 times more likely to be suspicious in their next relationship. “This indicates that how people are feeling about trust, fidelity, and commitment is even more salient than what their partners are actually doing,” says Knopp. “Some people are likely to always think their partner is cheating, regardless of whether or not that’s true.” In addition, cheaters are significantly more prone to dating other cheaters.
So how can you buffer your bond against future betrayal? Talk to your partner about it. “If one or both of you has had trouble staying faithful in the past, discuss what happened. Might it happen again? How can you and your partner anticipate those difficulties together, and tackle them as a team?” says Knopp. “Many people expect monogamy to happen easily, but commitment takes effort and communication. Being able to confront the possibility that you or your partner might struggle to maintain fidelity can make you better able to handle those challenges in the future.”
The next time the subject of cheating comes up in a neutral context-say, if a friend broke up with an unfaithful boyfriend, you’re watching a show featuring a cheater, or, ahem, you want to fill your partner in on this fascinating article-take advantage and use the moment as a jumping-off point for a discussion on where each of you stands, and how to keep your love superglue-strong.
