I texted him constantly. He didn’t reply to my messages. I called him almost three hundred times, he never picked up. I eventually gave up. I thought my marriage was over.

Then my coworker contacted me. He wanted to hook up again. I felt disgusted. I never felt so disgusted in my life than at that moment. Is that who I am? Am I the type of person who would ruin a perfect e day?

I was better than that. I am better than that. I told him to never contact me again and I blocked him. The next day, I quit my job and started looking for another job.

I didn’t hear from my ex for a week. But then he called me. It was a video call. I guess he wanted to make sure I wasn’t with anyone. I was home.

I was sure he will talk about getting a divorce. But he didn’t. He just asked what I was doing and what I did the entire week. I told him the truth. I told him I quit my job and I was searching for another job. He asked about the other guy and I https://brightwomen.net/blog/gor-postordrebrud-vill-bara-ha-mig-for-mina-pengar/ told him I blocked him.

He didn’t have much to say that day. But then we spoke again the next day and he asked more questions. Why did I cheat? How could I do this to him?

We kept talking every day. Whenever the topic of my cheating came up, I was as honest as possible. Those conversations were hard for both of us. But he knew I wasn’t going around with anyone and I knew he was slowly accepting what happened.

Eventually, we decided to get couples counseling. He was still staying with his friends for the first three sessions. But then he decided to move back in.

I never pressured him to come back. It was his decision. I was just always there for him whenever he wanted to talk. I was always just honest and I tried my best to figure out the issues in me that lead to the cheating.

During therapy, I realized I would never communicate clearly what I wanted. I was scared to express my needs and my desires. And when he wouldn’t understand them, I would just suppress them. And when the opportunity came to cheat on him, I had so much resentment built up that I didn’t care about ruining my relationship. Not until I got caught and realized what I might lose.

Most of it was about our relationship and how we drifted apart

He was there during the therapy sessions when I realized this. It was news to him. But he understood things better. He understood me better. Since then, we both have been communicating much better than before. Right now, I am going to individual therapy to unlearn my unhealthy behaviors and set healthy boundaries.

Chances are, your ex doesn’t want to do anything with you. They probably feel angry or hurt whenever you call them. Maybe when you try to touch them, they feel disgusted and want to run away from you. Maybe they don’t want to see your face because it reminds them of how much you have hurt them.

They slowly turned into resentment for him and my relationship

This kind of puts you in a seemingly impossible situation. How can you convince them to get back together if you can’t speak to them and be with them?

Yes, I understand you are probably scared that your ex will move on. But you don’t really have much of an option here.